Melodie KG, a published author, speaker, and activist, talks with co-hosts Mattie Bynum and Shane Lukas about her work bridging community-level activism with institutional philanthropy to advance sex worker rights, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and self-discovery in her journey. The conversation also explores the complex relationship between grassroots organizing and institutional philanthropy, highlighting Melodie’s role in bridging these gaps to foster significant movement growth and decriminalization efforts.
When I’m able to bring my art to different spaces and I lean into. I’m a sex worker. Here’s my story, here’s what I’m putting out on stage. Here’s what we’re fighting up against. So either through the music choices that I do, or sometimes I’ll have like subliminal messages in my routines and then uplift the folks in my communities who are doing that work as artists and also activists where we kind of incorporate our activism into our art and then shout it from the rooftops.
Mattie (00:00:35 –> 00:00:56):
Well, hello, hello, hello, hello and welcome to Power Beyond Pride, a queer change making podcast bringing you voices and ideas from across our fierce and fabulous spectrum to transform our world. I am Maddie Bynum, the hostess of the mostest and I am larger than life and fabulous in all the ways you can think of. And I’m joined here today by my.
Shane (00:00:56 –> 00:01:27):
Co host and I’m Shay Lucas. He him is and I’m so excited to be here with you today, Maddie. I’m an organizer, life harm reduction activist and owner of a great idea. We’re your co hosts for today’s queercast journey. In this episode, we are going to be talking power, passion and policy with author, speaker and activist who has over 12 years of experience and they’re leading social justice advocacy, philanthropy and direct services projects. Really amazing person, Melody kg. Very near and dear to my heart. So I’m excited, I’m excited to have a conversation with them today.
Mattie (00:01:27 –> 00:02:22):
I love it. I love it. Well, for y’ all who are listening who don’t know Melody the way that Shane knows Melody. Melody KG is a published author, speaker and activist with over 12 years of experience leading social justice projects ranging from direct services to advocacy to philanthropy. Currently, Melody is the co director of New Moon Network, an intermediary, funder and capacity builder advancing sex workers rights in the usa. She is also a public sector consultant and founder of Orange Cap Consultation where she helps institutions connect with marginalized communities through engagement, design, facilitation and analyst. Melody holds a master’s degree in public administration and a professional certificate in nonprofit management from the University of Washington. And I think my own question is when does she sleep? Oh my God.
Shane (00:02:22 –> 00:02:40):
I mean that’s the thing is there’s so much to say here. So we’re excited to hear, we’re excited to welcome Melody in. You know, shaping Melody’s work is important lived experiences as a queer woman of color, sex worker and first generation college graduate. Welcome Melody and I’m giving you the biggest audio hug that I could Give.
Melodie (00:02:41 –> 00:02:54):
Thank you, Shane and Maddie. It’s great to be here. I sleep when I can. Sometimes it’s. It’s a crash in the middle of the day and then she stays up and works on weekends. You know, we get it done.
Shane (00:02:55 –> 00:03:15):
But that’s the thing is it’s a lot to. You’re taking on so many different components, so many different facets. And I have to start with the number one question that I think for me is just always, I love hearing you talk about is what drives this motivation? What do you want to see changed in the world? What’s the thing? That’s really. What’s your vision?
Melodie (00:03:17 –> 00:04:40):
Yeah, that’s a really good question and something I ask myself a lot. And it changes, right? Because I think our own motivations for doing this work evolve and shift. You know, in. In my work, I tend to feel like individuals and institutions tend to do the work that they do because of ego. So not to say that I’m like super egotistical, but I think the drive to wanting to educate and get involved and do the work comes from a place of wanting something different from the world that will suit me and my communities. Right. So ego and it’s also, I think partially survival. Right. Like we as queer people and myself as a sex worker, as a person of color, like all of these intersections have a lot going for them in terms of like vibrance and culture and all of these things. But they’re also really suppressed within society. Right. And I hate that shit.
Mattie (00:04:41 –> 00:04:46):
Hey, I feel you 100%. Let me tell you. I’m right there with you. I get it, I get it.
Melodie (00:04:46 –> 00:04:47):
Yeah.
Mattie (00:04:47 –> 00:05:04):
I have a quick question for you, Melody. So you’ve been in the game now for 12 years and doing your thing. What is something that you could go back now, 12 years later and tell your freshly introduced person into the society what’s some wisdom that you could give?
Melodie (00:05:04 –> 00:05:43):
Oh my God. Well, I didn’t grow up with what you would call a functional parental system. So I’m having to like do this like IRL in real time, like re parent myself. Right. So there’s a lot. There’s a lot there, I think one, get yourself to a dance class. Also it’s okay to be different and weird and you don’t gotta hide that shit. And also like maybe don’t open that credit card, girl. That’s like 25% interest. Like you don’t need that.
Mattie (00:05:44 –> 00:05:50):
I think we all need to go back and tell our 12 year old, I mean, or our newly re merged self that Because God knows.
Shane (00:05:51 –> 00:06:26):
Yeah, there’s definitely a lot to be said. I love that you’re talking about dancing on the credit card thing. We’re all there. We’re all there. We know whatever offer you get, just send it away. Send it away. Trash that. But I think what you said about dancing is really powerful. Can you share kind of what your first experience was like? I think a lot of people get really nervous to step onto a dance floor or take a dance class or just do any of that and they get self conscious. But to do this work takes courage, you know, and hearing you talk about your vision and what drives you and knowing you just how, how courageous. I think you step into spaces. But was it like that on a dance floor?
Melodie (00:06:27 –> 00:07:57):
Yeah. So I mean, you know, I have two reasons for saying this. One is over the past year I’ve started really getting into burlesque performing. Yes, it’s super cute and I’m like a little bit less coordinated than I could be in some of the things. The it band is tight, the hips are tight. So. And you know, I’m just trying to like be on stage and, and do my thing and would like a bigger repertoire of just things that I can do to express myself. But also, it’s funny, I. I grew up kind of religious, like I think a lot of us did. And I realized I was an atheist for the first time or like a non theist while in a Zumba class at the YMCA when I was 16, 17. And that was really powerful for me. And it was just like the exact timing of the body movement with the music did something in me that made me realize, oh, this experience of like church and community and togetherness and like oneness with myself and my body was not just something that existed in church, but it was actually like, it’s actually like in music and in motion. And I think for a lot of us, like dancing is part of the queer experience. Right? So yeah, get yourself to a dance class.
Mattie (00:07:57 –> 00:08:27):
So my brother will so love you right now because he is a Zumba instructor. So to hear that you had your come to self moment realization was in a Zumba class. I could hear him now, he’d be like, yes. So I definitely understand that and I get it. I think a lot of times we forget and we put religion and church into a box of a building. But in reality, to me, church is anytime you can commune with a higher spirit, whether it is sound bathing, whether it is dancing or working in the community. So I think that’s beautiful. I love it.
Shane (00:08:27 –> 00:08:28):
Well, I’ll add to that. Like, usually you.
Mattie (00:08:29 –> 00:08:29):
You’re.
Shane (00:08:29 –> 00:09:08):
Usually you’re set in a prayer as soon as you hit that dance floor, and you’re just hoping body parts do what they’re doing. And you’re like, I don’t. I may not have believed because I’m a non faith participant, so I share that. But I’m like. There are moments where I’m like, don’t. If there is a higher power, please let me be coordinated in this particular moment. Please let this not be a banana peel on the floor moment. I really appreciate that. So, no, I. Again, I think it takes a lot of courage to step into spaces and do that. And music’s powerful. Music is music and the body, I think, are really, really powerful. Did anybody inspire you in this process? Were you watching performers and you were like, this is. This is definitely. Can you share a little bit about that?
Melodie (00:09:08 –> 00:09:51):
Absolutely. Another. Another moment of, like, really big, like, church vibes. Feelings that I had first around burlesque was in Seattle. Ms. Brick House posts this monthly burlesque review for all people of color called Sunday Night Sugar Shack. And the burlesque was like nothing I had ever seen before. It was like. Like less of the slow, sultry glove peel and ooh. And more like, I’m twerking on your face. Get in between my thighs. I’m gonna ride you on stage. And I was like, yes. Bish.
Mattie (00:09:52 –> 00:09:58):
It. I love it, I love it, I love it.
Melodie (00:09:58 –> 00:10:00):
Yeah, because she’s a brick.
Mattie (00:10:03 –> 00:10:07):
But it’s a little bit more like, I wanna lick you from your head to your toes, kind of.
Melodie (00:10:07 –> 00:10:10):
And I wanna move from the bed down to the flow.
Mattie (00:10:11 –> 00:10:16):
Yeah, that’s my look. My. My brother’s name would be my neck, my back. Lick my Kaya.
Shane (00:10:16 –> 00:10:19):
Is that the old Kaya track, right? The old Kaya track, right.
Mattie (00:10:19 –> 00:10:22):
That would be my burlesque name. Yes. Yes.
Melodie (00:10:23 –> 00:10:25):
It’s gonna be hard for marketing, but we could workshop.
Mattie (00:10:25 –> 00:10:25):
We can make it work.
Melodie (00:10:26 –> 00:10:27):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mattie (00:10:27 –> 00:10:37):
So let me ask, because I’m really interested now. So the burlesque, when you do it, how does it make you feel? Like, do you feel empowered at the moment? Do you feel centered? What gives it? Like, what do you get from it?
Melodie (00:10:37 –> 00:11:01):
Yeah, I feel very empowered, very centered. It requires me to really have presence with my. Myself, my body, the audience. Right. It allows me to kind of like, connect with people in a way that you don’t always get to in everyday social settings, which is like the hard stare. Ooh. Or the.
Mattie (00:11:01 –> 00:11:03):
Yeah. Sultry.
Melodie (00:11:04 –> 00:11:11):
The, like, look at Me while I do this thing, you know, you can’t.
Mattie (00:11:11 –> 00:11:13):
Wait a minute now.
Shane (00:11:13 –> 00:11:16):
I need. Now I need those fans on. I need that. I need that. I need that fan over here.
Melodie (00:11:18 –> 00:11:39):
Yes. It’s especially so for me. I’m also a dominatrix. So again, with the not sleeping. Just a lot of things that I do. But it gives me another avenue to assert dominance a little bit. It’s kind of a psychological upper for me.
Mattie (00:11:41 –> 00:11:55):
I like that, though. I get it. So how do you use that to then inspire change? Because that’s what we’re here for, you know, is inspiring change. And we’re also here to create space for ourself. But how do you use burlesque and these things?
Melodie (00:11:55 –> 00:13:14):
Absolutely. So a couple ways. So one, there’s a lot of. Especially here in Minneapolis, there is a really vibrant queer and burlesque punk underground drag scene, which is really awesome. And folks are folks very much center. Sex work, sex workers rights. There’s a lot of really good organizing that happens here. So when I’m able to bring my art to different spaces, I kind of lean into that. Right. I lean into. I’m a sex worker. Here’s my story. Here’s what I’m putting out on stage, and then here’s what we’re fighting up against. Right? So either through the music choices that I. That I do, or sometimes I’ll have, like, subliminal messages in my routines and then uplift the folks in my communities who are doing that work as artists and also activists, sometimes called artivists. Right. Where we kind of incorporate our activism into our art and then shout it from the rooftops for the rest of the sort of consumers of the art.
Shane (00:13:15 –> 00:14:15):
I love that. I have so much I want to dig into on that. We’re going to take a quick break here and get back in just less than a minute. Please don’t leave us, because we are just getting warmed up and heated up in this case, with our conversation with Melody. Welcome back. We are here at Power Beyond Pride with the amazing Melody kg and really having a conversation about how powerful it is to be in a movement that has just an incredible legacy. So we were talking about burlesque and the impact that different individuals can have in inspiring that legacy. And so, Melody, I’d love you to speak a little bit about the other parts of your movement and how you’re living into, really, the legacy of activists and artivists who are doing incredible work around bodily autonomy and sex work and many of these areas. I think you’re your Voice is such a pivotal one in the current moment. But, you know, again, I know you have an understanding of just how powerful that legacy is too. So I’d love to hear how that informs where you are and where you want to go.
Melodie (00:14:16 –> 00:16:47):
Yeah, absolutely. A lot of my work these days is taking me upstream, so into institutions, into philanthropy, to really bridge the gap that I see existing between the really powerful community level work and systems change. Right. So within systems, systems of oppression, systems of whatever it is, there’s individual actors, there’s communities that are made up of individual actors, and then there are institutions that kind of fill out the whole of the bubble as I’m seeing it. And there’s a lot of really good work, especially in sex workers rights and harm reduction that happens at the community level. But the community level and the systems level don’t always talk to each other and in fact are sometimes even diametrically opposed and even sometimes refuse to speak to each other. Right. Because of the oppression that systems have had on communities. So what I try and do is kind of create this two way street wherein I have one foot in community and I’m doing the work, and I have one foot in philanthropy and in sort of government and kind of the nonprofit industrial complex writ large. And I’m helping institutions understand what’s happening at the community level so that they can invest money, resources, social capital into growing those movements for these bigger shifts that I see wanting to happen, and vice versa. I’m also helping communities understand the importance of kind of reaching up into institutions where they can in a way that reduces the harm that communities experience when interfacing with those institutions. So I’m really activated and intrigued by this idea of an intermediary which describes the organization. I work for, New Moon, because we have these, we’ve built these kind of feedback loops between communities and institutions that really I’m hoping will help sort of catalyze the movement for sex workers rights.
Mattie (00:16:47 –> 00:16:57):
Within the U.S. melody, if you don’t mind, can you give us just a little history or just about New Moon? Because we’ve talked about it, but we haven’t really told the people what New Moon does.
Melodie (00:16:58 –> 00:18:34):
Yeah, absolutely. So New Moon Network is an intermediary, funder and capacity builder for the sex worker rights movement, which basically means that we do some grant making for sex workers rights organizations across the U.S. we have, I think, 80 plus grantees at this point and we fundraise for every dollar that we give out into the movement. Right. So we are writing grants, we’re talking to you Know, Capital P philanthropists, we’re hosting webinars, we’re doing the things that feel like our biggest are sort of big Capital P philanthropy things and translating those resources into community, and then again, vice versa. Helping communities access philanthropy through technical assistance with their nonprofit or, you know, helping them understand the systems of philanthropy or grant making or things like that. And in hopes that we can unite the movement for sex worker rights in the US to maximize the philanthropic resources that go into it. Right. So finding and coordinating the movement to some extent such that we can reach our goals of, for example, decriminalization or even smaller things like record expungement or sort of harm reductive practices within the sex trade.
Shane (00:18:34 –> 00:19:39):
What I. Yeah, what I hear you saying. And again, New Moon’s work is really powerful. And again, I love the work they’re doing. But, you know, money, right. We’re really, really talking about, at the end of the day, money. And I think for a lot of queer activists, especially those who’ve been organizing at grassroots levels, there is this challenge in going after typically legacy funders, legacy systems, and going, hey, do you care about transplus identities? Do you care about these issues which queer community members do intersect with in various levels? And there’s always oftentimes, I think, from a grassroots level of fear to go into those institutions and be like, hey, we’re doing the work, we’re on the ground doing it. So can you talk a little bit about the way that even as an activist yourself, like, having made those transitions, like, what was, how did you make peace with the idea of where the money is and being able to go to those populations and be like, show us the money. Bring it. We deliver the results. Show us the money.
Melodie (00:19:40 –> 00:21:23):
Yeah. And I would say that that’s, That’s a continual journey. I think for a lot of folks who start out in community organizing and make their way through to philanthropy, it’s true for other folks who do similar work that I’ve talked with in the sphere where it’s like, there’s actually quite a dystopian air of all of this because. Because there are so, so many individuals and institutions that have massive amounts of wealth that are just kind of sitting there doing nothing except gaining more wealth and being hoarded. Right. And so it’s actually like an ongoing struggle. Right. And I think for me, what’s really helped is the fact that I feel like I kind of grew up in dystopia. Right. Like, I, I’m neurodivergent. And so having to essentially Mask my entire life, I have a certain. I have a certain set of skills that include being able to mask for white people, for philanthropy. It’s hard, right? Like, it takes a toll on one’s mental health, which is. It’s just part of it. But I feel like, especially in putting myself through a fucking master’s program with a master’s level of debt. Let me just put that out there. She still got the $90,000 in debt that’s growing every day.
Mattie (00:21:24 –> 00:21:28):
But that’s your background right there. That’s your history. That’s how we beg for money. Look.
Melodie (00:21:28 –> 00:21:30):
Right, right, right, right, right.
Mattie (00:21:30 –> 00:21:33):
Well, my degrees, I definitely understand that one.
Melodie (00:21:34 –> 00:22:56):
Yeah, well, and going through that was also dystopian too, right? Because like, I was trying to go to grad school so that I could gain the tools that I needed to be a better. Whatever. Better at dismantling institutions. But it’s okay. But I’m going. I’m paying this money to an institution in order to break it down. So, like, there’s just this very. This very interesting thing that keeps replicating itself in different areas where it’s like you kind of have to. You have to pay to play. You have to sort of mask in order to survive and to thrive. And it’s the same kind of in philanthropy in the same way. So really what I’ve tried to do is find my people within philanthropy. And there’s surprisingly, there’s a lot of queer folks in philanthropy. There’s whole organizations that are dedicated to queer folks in philanthropy. And some of them run into the same traps that we see with. In regards to professionalism, quote, unquote, professionalism. Right. In regards to whitewashing. And, you know, every time I show up to a philanthropic conference, I feel like is a little bit of an act of resistance. You didn’t want me here. That’s why you set the entry fee to $3,000.
Mattie (00:22:57 –> 00:22:57):
Come on.
Melodie (00:22:57 –> 00:23:15):
But I got here and I’m going to talk about sex work, because you know what? Sex work and sex workers and brown people and black people who are trading sex built this whole country and built your goddam that you’re hoarding wealth with. So, like, I just got heated.
Mattie (00:23:16 –> 00:23:19):
I’m right there with you. I’m right there with you. I feel it.
Shane (00:23:19 –> 00:23:22):
But bringing that heat all the way around.
Mattie (00:23:22 –> 00:23:38):
I definitely agree with you. So let me ask this question, Melody, because how do we get involved? Because I definitely want people to understand and know one where they can go to get help if they’re on that ending or if they also want to have to be helpful. How do we get involved?
Melodie (00:23:40 –> 00:23:50):
Absolutely, yeah. Thank you for that. So we are on all of the platforms. I think we are deplatforming on X for reasons. For all the reasons.
Shane (00:23:50 –> 00:23:52):
Yes. We applaud. We applaud, we applaud.
Melodie (00:23:52 –> 00:25:04):
Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. We’re on Instagram @Newmoon Network. We’re on Blue sky at Newmoon Network. It may be New Underscore Moon Underscore network. We’re on LinkedIn, which is another dystopian place, but that’s where all the philanthropists are. So again, we have to like sort of shape shift right in these places to invite folks who may not be initially on board with the idea that sex workers work or like whatever the thing is, and kind of assert that actually it is. And actually sex workers and trans people are already in your portfolios and you just don’t know it yet. So that’s what we’re doing. We are always happy to talk to anyone who wants to get involved at any level. Anyone who is in the grant making or philanthropy space who just has questions like, even if you feel like they’re dumb questions about sex work or sex workers rights or even like race, equity, queerness, we’re, we want to have those conversations. So please feel free to come to us with those and we’re happy to chat.
Shane (00:25:05 –> 00:25:49):
That’s okay. I have a question. So now that we’ve sort of talked about, we’ve talked about the power of New Moon has. I’d like to sort of turn our attention inward to your own journey, Melody, because I think that’s so important. You’ve shared a lot about, again, what’s really sort of firing you up in your creative work. Can you talk a little bit about how you replenish? And in this movement, there’s a lot of different strategies. You’ve talked about burlesque and you’ve talked about, again, your own work as a worker. How are you nurturing those parts of yourself during this time? Because I think a lot of people who join movements, really, because again, you do so much. How do you also replenish that so that you have time to bring that energy?
Melodie (00:25:49 –> 00:25:56):
Do you want the real answer or do you want the podcast approved? Appropriate answer.
Shane (00:25:56 –> 00:25:57):
We’re here for the reals.
Mattie (00:25:57 –> 00:25:57):
Give us both.
Melodie (00:25:59 –> 00:26:12):
Okay, cool. So the podcast washed answer is I really invest in self care and. Okay, no, but.
Shane (00:26:14 –> 00:26:16):
Thank you, thank you for that.
Melodie (00:26:16 –> 00:26:54):
You’re welcome. You’re welcome. The real answer is weed. I smoke some weed. I Yep. Praise the Lord. And I. I intentionally disconnect and unplug. So I try to disconnect and unplug from a lot of news. I disconnect and unplug sometimes from or rather build structure around, like, the things that I actually need to get done in order to live my life, like paying bills and such and fill that time with, like, smoke and weed, playing video games with my husband, playing with my dogs.
Mattie (00:26:55 –> 00:26:56):
I definitely understand that.
Shane (00:26:57 –> 00:26:59):
Yeah, no one’s going to complain about dogs.
Mattie (00:26:59 –> 00:27:05):
I’m going to say you started with smoking weed. So technically, after we don’t smoke the blunt, we ain’t doing shit anyways for the rest.
Melodie (00:27:05 –> 00:27:09):
Right, Right. So, like, that’s the whole day.
Mattie (00:27:09 –> 00:27:28):
Right. Because I enjoy mine every now shit. Every day. I do. I’m not even going to say every now and then every damn evening smoke session. And that’s the best way to unplug it. Does it helps you to zone out? Shane, I don’t know if you joined the.
Shane (00:27:29 –> 00:28:13):
I don’t indulge there. For me, it’s music. And I think music and dancing is a place that I think melody and I definitely also have some overlap. And I think, again, whatever it takes to take some space because this is a marathon, not a sprint, right. To do this work. And I think that’s the thing is, like, how do we inspire action for other people to. To move toward change? Right. Like, how do we inspire it? And I think that’s one of the things that I always wrestle with in getting other community members to come on board. But if you’re tired, if you’re not able to bring that energy and you’re not able to bring that imagination, whether that’s performing, whether that’s just like saying there’s something interesting in the world ahead, it’s hard to do. It’s hard to get people involved. And that’s, I think, one of the biggest challenges.
Melodie (00:28:14 –> 00:28:32):
Yeah, absolutely. And I think one of the biggest drivers of burnout is again, going back to that piece around ego. Like, we want to do it all. We want to do the things within our power and even beyond power, beyond pride.
Mattie (00:28:32 –> 00:28:36):
Yeah. Oh, yes. You better remember the title. Come on, girl.
Melodie (00:28:38 –> 00:29:21):
To push beyond what we’re able to do or what we’re capable of doing in that moment, because the thing needs to get done, and there are so many ways for us to do that. Right. And so there are ways we can harm. Reduce the ego. Step back. Say, like, I actually don’t have to do this all I actually can’t solve this problem alone. And it’s actually vitally necessary for me as an individual and as an activist to step back at times to cool it for a sec and let, let other folks like take the reins so that I can keep doing this work long term.
Mattie (00:29:21 –> 00:29:46):
Well, no, and I definitely get that because being an activist is a form of a leader. So in order to lead, you gotta know how to follow. And I think that’s. You brought up a good point. It’s not just you. That’s why we have a community. We always say the word community in a sense of we want to come together and work together, but we forget that community also has each other’s back. So when Melody is tired, that’s when Maddie stands up. When Maddie is tired, that’s when Shane stands up. So I definitely agree.
Shane (00:29:47 –> 00:30:03):
And we’re going to do, we’re going to take a break right now. We’re going to take a quick break right now. We’re going to continue this conversation in just a moment about Melody’s incredible work, inspiration and a quickfire round which is always fun. So very excited. We’ll be right back.
Mattie (00:30:07 –> 00:30:36):
And welcome back. We are back here at Power Beyond Pride and enjoying our wonderful conversation with the beautiful Melody. Talking about all the things that we have going on in the world. And also we cannot forget about burlesque dancing and just being spicy in life. So Melody, I have another question for you. Now that we’ve established that you’re spicy in life, what are some passion projects and what do we have to look forward to coming from you at this point?
Melodie (00:30:36 –> 00:31:29):
Yeah, so a couple things. So with New Moon, we’re always in a bunch of places. So we go to a bunch of conferences, both like community activism conferences and also philanthropy spaces. So keep an eye on our social media. We’ll be in Houston for funding forward. We’ll be in D.C. we’ll be in, in New Orleans for Netroots Nation in August. All of those things should be really super fun. I’m also, I also write a bi monthly sex column and am doing more, more individual writing. So feel free to follow me on Substack. Follow my column. It’s called Land O Lusts. It’s a Minneapolis based.
Mattie (00:31:30 –> 00:31:35):
You can start and not tell us where that came from. Now Land. Now how did that come about?
Melodie (00:31:36 –> 00:32:01):
So, so in Minnesota there’s a really popular butter company called Land O Lakes and I made a pun, you see, by calling it Land O Lusts. And it’s a sex, it’s a sex column. It’s a sex Column that’s a love letter to sex workers and burlesque and the spicy among us. So.
Shane (00:32:02 –> 00:32:12):
So what’s the one I have to ask? What is the one common thread with all the things you have to address? What’s the one thing you think everybody needs to know to just have better sex?
Mattie (00:32:12 –> 00:32:19):
Ooh, better sex or butter sex or butter sex? Butter sex, yes. Butter or better sex?
Melodie (00:32:19 –> 00:32:20):
The answer is butter.
Shane (00:32:20 –> 00:32:24):
Butter. The answer is butter. We’ve answered it. Right? There it is. Butter.
Melodie (00:32:24 –> 00:32:31):
It’s unsalted. Sweet cream. No, margarine. Margarine is garbage.
Mattie (00:32:31 –> 00:32:33):
You said unsalted. See, I like mine salted just a little bit.
Melodie (00:32:33 –> 00:32:39):
I do like mine salted, but for body safety. For sex safety, you want that unsalted.
Mattie (00:32:39 –> 00:32:41):
That’s true. That’s true.
Melodie (00:32:42 –> 00:33:34):
No, but for better sex, like, really the answer is it’s within you. If you want it, you can. You can achieve it with. With sex, right? Like, you really have to. And you should, like, okay, tap into your own primalness, right? Like, I think so much of. Of, like, the pitfalls of society is because we’re trying to, like, put a suit and tie over the primal. You don’t gotta do that. You can just be and be confident in it. Find whatever thing makes you feel present in your body and uplift that for yourself.
Shane (00:33:35 –> 00:34:04):
This idea of just being able to be. Again, we’ve heard so much about your courage and so much about what is informing you to sort of do all this work, but in your own queerness. Do you think some of that is just being true to yourself? Like, being true to your feelings, to the ideas of who you are? Again, I’ll go back to that word primal that you used, which is really powerful. Do you think that’s influenced your own sort of, as you’ve come into a queer identity? Is. Is that a starting point for you? How does that influence your queerness?
Melodie (00:34:05 –> 00:34:56):
Yeah, I think so. I think for people who are either struggling or don’t know quite how to be true to yourself is not always resonant with folks, right? Like, because in order to take the advice, be true to yourself, there has to be a conscious understanding that you have decoupled parts of yourself. And for many folks, they don’t realize that there is more there, and so there’s nothing, right? So, like, we first have to kind of understand who and where we are before we can. Before we can let the trueness out, we have to discover it, right? So it’s like we’re like, spelunking.
Shane (00:34:56 –> 00:34:58):
Spelunking herself.
Melodie (00:34:59 –> 00:35:01):
That should be the name of this podcast.
Mattie (00:35:03 –> 00:35:13):
Hey. No, but you’re. You actually make sense though, because if you’re not honest with yourself and know the true primal passion that you have, how do you let it out? So that makes sense. That definitely makes sense.
Melodie (00:35:13 –> 00:35:58):
Oh, I was just gonna say. And I think that has informed my own queerness because like, for example, I for the longest time never really kind of quote unquote came out. Right? Because I was like, this is. This is not a, anyone’s business. But B, it’s also like coming out implies otherness. Right. And it’s like, that’s not. And that’s not the world that I want to live in. Informing my queerness and my work is like this idea of discovering self. Yes. Being true to it.
Mattie (00:35:58 –> 00:36:26):
No. But I definitely like it because it really does bring back a topic for me. I know personally because I never truly came out the closet, but there was never a closet for me to first go into to come out. So I get it. I definitely get that. And I think a lot of times we have a perception of what we think queer life or queer journey is supposed to be. But the beauty about being queer is you are different and you can represent yourself in any way you see how.
Shane (00:36:26 –> 00:36:28):
So because the world is your wardrobe.
Mattie (00:36:28 –> 00:36:28):
There you go.
Shane (00:36:29 –> 00:36:48):
Right. Like we do not we. Then I mean that like lion, witch in the wardrobe style. Like, I mean though, like the world is that right? That is the. I think that’s the beauty of it. So I think being your. The self that you want to. The story you want to share in the world, write the story that you want to bring. And I think that’s really powerful. So we have some questions, some speed round questions.
Mattie (00:36:48 –> 00:36:49):
Yes. Melody.
Shane (00:36:49 –> 00:36:53):
That we want to get to know more about. The Melody kg.
Mattie (00:36:53 –> 00:36:59):
When me and Shane ask these questions, don’t think. I just want you to say the first thing that pops into your head. That’s the people.
Melodie (00:36:59 –> 00:37:00):
Ooh, dangerous.
Mattie (00:37:01 –> 00:37:03):
We love that. Yes. Be dangerous with it.
Shane (00:37:03 –> 00:37:05):
Courage. We’re going to bring some courage.
Mattie (00:37:05 –> 00:37:08):
The first question is, how often do you think about sexual?
Melodie (00:37:10 –> 00:37:10):
Constantly.
Mattie (00:37:11 –> 00:37:14):
Oh, yes. Would you ever spend the night in a haunted house.
Melodie (00:37:16 –> 00:37:16):
For money?
Mattie (00:37:17 –> 00:37:25):
Oh, for money. So would you ever have sex in a haunted house while you’re thinking about sex for money? Okay, what is your go to comfort food?
Melodie (00:37:28 –> 00:37:38):
See, this is why rapid fire doesn’t always work. Because I want to say Mac and cheese, but I can’t eat that shit no more. And I don’t. So.
Mattie (00:37:41 –> 00:37:42):
The joy.
Shane (00:37:42 –> 00:37:46):
What about the cauliflower Mac and cheese that’s garbage.
Mattie (00:37:46 –> 00:37:49):
That’s not real. We’re talking about real shame.
Shane (00:37:50 –> 00:37:53):
I was doing my best. I was doing my best to recover it.
Mattie (00:37:53 –> 00:37:59):
Have you ever sent the wrong text to the wrong person? Did you ever send your parent a sex text that you were supposed to be sending somebody else?
Melodie (00:38:00 –> 00:38:11):
No, but that’s because I have hyper anxiety. And so I’m like, triple checking what I send people. Like, sometimes there’s a typo in there, but it’s usually to the right person.
Mattie (00:38:11 –> 00:38:15):
Okay. Okay. And this is one for the masses. What’s the largest ocean?
Melodie (00:38:15 –> 00:38:16):
The Pacific.
Mattie (00:38:16 –> 00:38:18):
All right, well, that’s a win.
Shane (00:38:18 –> 00:38:24):
That’s a win. You get your Trivial Pursuit tile or your little pie piece or whatever that is.
Melodie (00:38:24 –> 00:38:31):
Why are you trying to trick me? Give me some. Who was the fifth president? Like.
Shane (00:38:34 –> 00:38:37):
Wait, who is the fifth president? I don’t know who the fifth president is.
Melodie (00:38:37 –> 00:38:39):
Some kind of Hoover. I don’t know.
Mattie (00:38:40 –> 00:38:42):
I mean, they all kind of sucked at everything, so.
Shane (00:38:42 –> 00:38:47):
It’s an Adams. You’re better off guessing an Adams, because I think there are like, three of them or something like that.
Mattie (00:38:47 –> 00:38:49):
Yes. Good gracious alive.
Shane (00:38:50 –> 00:39:07):
Thank you so much for joining us today, Melody. Just getting to spend this time with you, sharing your story with all of our listeners, and just, again, an opportunity to be in community with you is always a joy. And the work you’re doing is so powerful. Again, thank you so much for joining. It’s so important.
Mattie (00:39:07 –> 00:39:12):
Well, Melody, it was very nice having you on the show. I thoroughly enjoy talking to you today.
Melodie (00:39:13 –> 00:39:17):
Thank you. And. And the feeling is mutual. Love to see you both.
Mattie (00:39:17 –> 00:39:33):
Well, I am Maddie Bynum. You can find me @Maddie Simone737 on Instagram, Maddie Bynum on Facebook, and I am deactivating my Twitter as we speak as well. So excuse me, X. X is no longer Twitter. Thank you, El.
Shane (00:39:35 –> 00:40:18):
But thank you so much. And again, you can find Melody also. Again, Melody, your socials you shared New Moon network can be found on all the socials except for X. So please check those out. I’m Shane Lucas. You can follow me at. We are AGI on Instagram, a great idea co on Facebook or any other place that a great idea is located. You can also find me on blueskyne. Lucas. We want to thank you, Melody, for joining us for today’s conversation and again, sharing so much. Remember to subscribe and get our get your friends to subscribe to Power Beyond Pride. Whenever you get your podcast, you could check us out on social for Power Beyond Pride across all the social channels. And our site@powerbeyondpride.com Power Beyond Pride is.
Mattie (00:40:18 –> 00:40:26):
A project from A Great Idea, a queer owned design and content agency. Learn more about them@great idea.com and this.
Shane (00:40:26 –> 00:40:35):
Episode is produced by me actually, and also with doing project development. Our editor is Jarrett Redding with support from Ian Wilson.
Mattie (00:40:36 –> 00:40:42):
We are both part of the podcast host team and we invite you to send in your questions and comments to powerbeyondpride. Com.
Shane (00:40:42 –> 00:40:47):
We look forward to queer change making with you with each episode as we build Power Beyond Pride.